I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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