I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
