I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
