I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
