I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
