So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
