Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
