I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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