so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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