How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
