I must be too annoying 4 u.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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