You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
ttyl tear gas
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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