This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
