it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
