Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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