I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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