so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
