I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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