dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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