I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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