i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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