if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
