I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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