Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
