some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
