I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
