She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
