I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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