so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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