absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
