Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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