You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
