Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
