Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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