Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
