Your mouth is God's brothel.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
