He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
