That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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