So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
