this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
