Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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