and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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