Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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