I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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