Quick, to the slutcave!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
