The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
