This girl is more easily done than said...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
