Porn is love you can see.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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