We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
