Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
