Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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