Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
