You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
